First
and foremost this may be a sensitive topic for some people. It contains
views and questions that people may be uncomfortable discussing openly.
No offense intended and please understand that there is no judgement
about how people want to live their own lives. While watching one of
those talk shows the topic caught my attention, as it would for alot of
people. The segment was about swingers. The people who participate in
this activity were on the phone talking with the shows hosts. I know in
todays world everyone has the right to be the way they want to be,
whatever floats your boat. Some people don't get the concept of this
experience. Outside of seeing its just a way that people find
gratification having intimate relations with their partner and other
people at the same time. People may wonder where does morality fit in?
These people spoke as if it was a wonderful way to fulfill their
relationships and it was all good. I questioned this and thought could
it be that people who do this may not be completely satisfied with
having sex with just one partner, everytime. And could it be that
eventually they will not be satisfied with having sex with the other
couple they were with and they find themselves moving on to other
swinging couples. It could just escalate into a couple searching for
more swingers to bring into their sexual-network. Risking or playing
russian roulette with there relationships and their bodies. So what is
the deep rooted need that some people have that they will only be
sexually fulfilled by having sex with other couples. I'm sure there are
many people, more than we think, who delve into this side of
non-committed-unrelationship-sex. And I'm sure there's a psychological
term for this behavior. If there isn't there most likely will be.
Another
point is if this is so good for them and their relationships, why isn't
the topic talked about more often on all these talk shows? Could it be
that people think being involved in this lifestyle is "taboo" and they would
not agree with the lifestyle? They might argue the point and might
question, is it immoral? Well according to the bible it is. There are
many forms of immorality written about in the bible. According to living the way you
want to live..its no one's business. So who's wrong, who's right?
Does wrong or right even fit into this picture? The norm is a man falls
for a woman, woman falls for a man. One for one. A couple. Where and
when does it become an open sexual experience with others? Did the
people that swing, start there relationship swinging? I'm sure there
are those who have. I question this because sex, being an intimate
event, is a natural occurrence one shares with another person whom they
love. At least thats the way it was suppose to be. Now adays people
seem to have many sexual partners and alot of them don't have or want a
committment. However in present day, there are people that will have
many partners and date several others without the desire of a committed
relationship. I understand that swinging, altho' different some have called orgies, have
been around since the day of the romans. But why? Has it always
been in the mind of man to desire having intercourse with more than one
person at one time? I've heard many times when speaking with people about sexual
fantasies how they would like to have sex with more than one person.
When people talk about this they'd have this secretive or its a bad thing
to talk about, way of speaking. As if it shouldn't be discussed.
Not that they would ever carry it out, afterall its just a fantasy.
Right? Or maybe not for some. Is it in our innate behavior to desire
such an experience? For some people it seems to be. So why is this
behavior found only in some people? Or is it that some people are
willing to carry out the fantasy and get caught up in the behavior. I
say that because humans are creatures of habit. If we begin to do an
activity, whatever it may be and we like it, we tend to keep doing it. Perhaps
swinging starts out as an innocent experience and when it occurs again
and again, people become addicted to it. Like smoking or gambling. It
makes you wonder about the primal mind of the human being. Its
suggested that swinging "came out" back in the 1960's upon the use of
the birth-control pill. Like a door opened up because now the female
would not get pregnant. Of course the increase of better medicines that
treated STD's also highlighted back than too. Perhaps that made many
people feel safer about being more open with their sexuality. Now is it
moral? There was a time when having sex with the same sex partner was
immoral and still is for some people. Some believe having sex with
ourselves is immoral. So does having sex with many people make it
immoral? What is moral and how does it fit in with fidelity? Truth is
having morals and fidelity has always been the stronghold and key to
living a happier more solid life with a partner. Whether you're
heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or tri-sexual. I'm not saying
swingers don't have morals. Because of the complexity of what should be
considered moral and what isn't moral. I'm looking at it from an
objective point of view and how people in general may view it.
It
is considered that swingers do live in a subcultural sexual
lifestyle. I'm sure altho' some would think differently, it doesn't
have complete effect on the morals or values of people living this
lifestyle. Some have determined swingers as deviates(differing from a
norm or from the accepted standards of a society.) And like "normal
couples" the majority of swingers still keep their morals strong when
it comes to all of the other responsibilities in their relationships.
They are still committed
to each other in other forms besides
sexual. And even then some
swingers have rules that limit what they're willing to do. They seem
like
average couples. With the exception of not having sexual fidelity in
their relationship. On the other hand swingers may actually have
fidelity but its
with the other couples they swing with. Kind of a multi-fidelity, group
fidelity or fidelity rule. Say there are 2 sets of couples that always
swing together and they only swing with that specific couple. Why
should
anyone judge these people just because of their sexual preference? If
that be the case then surely we should be alot more judgmental about
all
of the other sexual perversion and abuse going on in everyones society.
Not because of
the swingers lifestyle. But of all the horror's of sexual immorality in
our society that rates way higher on that perverbial immoral scale.
Another point of view could be perhaps these people who like to swing
enjoy having sex together because it makes them feel connected somehow
or released from "the
norm" of sexual behavior. It heightens their sexual experience and
perhaps even makes them feel accepted by others on an intimate level.
Even feeling validated about their own sexual desires and their sexual
points of view. To think about it as a moral behavior or not, who
really are we to pass judgement? Whatever comes out of a relationship,
couples experience together whether they are sexually straight or they
swing, that is of their own creation be it good or
negative. And like that saying goes: "What goes on behind closed doors
is no bodies business." So long as it isn't hurting or abusing anyone,
huh!..thats another subject. to write about. Enjoy the day.
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EzineArticles Author Sherrie Vitello
Copyright(c)2014.Swinging-How does morality fit in.Written by Sherrie Vitello. All Rights Reserved.
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